Category Archives: Relationships

Mediation and the Tale of the Single Lemon

{2.48 minutes to read}  In my last blog article, I described my frustration with lawyers and other professionals who undervalue the skills and experience that go into making a good mediator.  As I continued to contemplate this subject, I remembered an excellent “story” I had been told early in my mediation training days to illustrate one of the key principles of mediation.

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Can Conflict Be Good?

Can Conflict Be Good

{3.06 minutes to read}  Many people, when in conflict, see it as something bad and unsettling and, indeed, it can be.  Alternatively, conflict can often be good. How can this be so?

There are 2 sides to conflict – one is productive and the other is unproductive. As to which of these approaches will prevail, that very much depends upon the attitude and approach of the participants.

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Welcoming 2015 with a 10-Year Look-Back

Family and divorce mediator, Susan Ingram, reflects on her professional journey of the last 10 years as the new year approaches.

{Time to Read: 3.1 mins}  Typically, at the end of each December, before the entrance of the New Year, I like to look back at what’s happened over the past year and then contemplate what I’d like to accomplish in the year that is coming. This year I decided to do my review a little differently. Instead of just looking at the timeframe of a year, I wanted to see the big-picture over the period of the past 10 years.

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Integrated Team Mediation: What Is It and How Can It Benefit You?

NYC Family and Divorce Mediation, Susan Ingram, explains integrated team mediation.

For family and divorce mediation to be done as effectively as possible, I believe an integrated team approach must be utilized. I use the term “Integrated Team Mediation” to describe this approach. So what do I mean by this?

First let me explain some basics: At the core of the team is the couple who has come to me to facilitate their discussions, and of course myself, their mediator/attorney. Sometimes a couple’s circumstances are quite straightforward, and they already have all the information they need to make their decisions. For instance, I’ve had couples who don’t have children, have a short-term marriage and have few resources to divvy up. In those instances, typically there is no need to bring in outside professionals.

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Can Mediators Be Impartial and Address an Imbalance of Power?

Divorce and Family Mediator, Susan Ingram, discusses maintaing impartiality while keeping parties balanced and informed during the mediation process.

In my last blog article, I questioned whether a mediator could be either neutral or impartial. As I discussed, for me personally, the term “impartial” is more relevant – and something I continually strive for when I am mediating with my clients.

How does this actually play-out in a mediation? Sometimes with difficulty and a great deal of challenge. Let’s face it – even with the best of intentions, we’re all just human. I will frequently check-in with myself to question whether I am maintaining an unbiased position toward each of my clients. Then, if I sense there’s an issue, I’ll try my best to adjust my approach.

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One-Up, One-Down: Power Imbalances in Mediation

One-Up, One-Down: Power Imbalances in Mediation By Susan Ingram

I recently participated in a discussion with a number of colleagues who are therapists working with couples and their families. We had all just witnessed a divorce mediation session where a couple was discussing the parenting arrangements for their two children, both under the age of ten.

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Purr-fect Wisdom: 6 Life Lessons from Master Percy

NYC Mediator Susan Ingram of www.susan-ingram.com uses her cat to share some life lessons that can benefit all.

I recently added a beautiful Siberian cat to my household. This is not the first time I’ve decided to share my life with a feline. I’ve owned two other cats before this, spanning a total of 20 years. It’s been over a year since my last cat died. A few months ago I decided to take the leap once more and introduce a new fellow, this time dubbed Percy, into my life.

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Creating Daily “Listening Time” with Your Child

NYC divorce and family mediator Susan Ingram of susan-ingram.com discusses the importance of creating time every day to actively listen to your child.

An article that recently appeared in HuffPost Parents entitled “The Most Important 10 Minutes of a Child’s Day” triggered my own thoughts about supporting our children’s emotional well-being. The suggestions of the author, Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University, were simple, yet very meaningful.

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What’s the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy?

What's the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy? by Susan Ingram

Please take a look at the video below, The Power of Empathy, which was produced by RSA Shorts. In just three short minutes, it explains the power of empathy in an extremely creative and humorous way. Enjoy viewing it – and then  continue on with my article, as I share with you some of my own thoughts on this subject.

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