5 Key Elements of the Mediation Process
{2:48 minutes to read} There are two principal aspects to the role a mediator plays when helping couples going through divorce mediation. One has to do with the process and the other has to do with the substance.
Process relates to the framework and ground rules that are established by the mediator so that the necessary conversations can take place and move along, ultimately to resolution.
Further Thoughts on Mediation and the Japanese Art of Kintsugi
{2:00 minutes to read} Recently, I published an article entitled Mediation and the Japanese Art of Kintsugi. In my article I shared a wonderful metaphor of beauty and strength, demonstrated by the “golden” repairs the old Japanese masters made to their bowls and other pottery when these pieces were damaged.
In a comment on my blog, a colleague asked if I was familiar with the song “Japanese Bowl,” written by Peter Mayer.
6 Basic Tips for Handling Conflict
{3:06 minutes to read} While conflict in our lives is inevitable, how we handle it is ultimately our choice. That’s true whether we’re dealing with conflict in our private lives (with our partner, children, other family members, friends) or in our work lives (with our colleagues or other professionals).
Mediation and the Japanese Art of Kintsugi
{2:30 minutes to read} Kintsugi is a centuries-old Japanese master craft for repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. If you’ve ever been to a museum exhibit of old Japanese ceramics, you may have noticed the patterns of gold veins that run through some of the pieces. These pieces had been broken at some point, and the gold clearly shows where the repairs had been made as the master craftsman put the piece back together again.
How is Mediation Like Solving a Puzzle?
{2:52 minutes to read} When I’m first meeting with couples in divorce mediation, I find most people have little knowledge as to how mediation actually works. The metaphor of putting together a jigsaw puzzle, an activity most people are familiar with, is very helpful in illustrating the process.
The Mediation Process – Both Structured and Flexible
{3:00 minutes to read} The discussions I lead my couples through in mediation need to be structured, but they also need to be open to “fluid thinking.” By that, I mean the type of thinking that allows for the continued interplay between the various decisions that must be made.
How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?
{4:24 minutes to read} Not infrequently, when someone first calls me to discuss the possibility of divorce mediation, they will mention that they have not yet brought up the subject with their spouse. The caller (the initiating spouse) typically describes a marriage that has not been good for some time; the marriage no longer works for him or her and it needs to come to an end.
Mediation Helps Couples Successfully Untangle Their Lives
{1:42 minutes to read} “Never cut what you can untie.” Joseph Joubert, French essayist This aphorism came to my attention recently when one of my colleagues was giving a presentation at our annual conference for the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation. I was immediately struck by the wisdom contained in its 6 simple words.
How Is Mediation Different From Therapy?
{3:24 minutes to read} Both mediators and therapists play important roles in helping couples who are experiencing difficulties in their marriage. When couples come to me for divorce mediation, I find that at least half of them have spent time, recently or in the past, working together with a therapist to try to save their marriage. I certainly view this as a positive sign. At least the couple has tried to work through the issues in their marriage, even if it didn’t ultimately work out.
Can a Mediator be Omnipartial?
{1:00 minutes to read} I explained in my last article that I would be reposting two earlier blogs on the subject of mediator impartiality, since this topic is of great interest to clients and professionals alike. The second blog was entitled “Can Mediators be Impartial and Address an Imbalance of Power?”
