Mediation and the Japanese Art of Kintsugi
{2:30 minutes to read} Kintsugi is a centuries-old Japanese master craft for repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. If you’ve ever been to a museum exhibit of old Japanese ceramics, you may have noticed the patterns of gold veins that run through some of the pieces. These pieces had been broken at some point, and the gold clearly shows where the repairs had been made as the master craftsman put the piece back together again.
How is Mediation Like Solving a Puzzle?
{2:52 minutes to read}
When I’m first meeting with couples in divorce mediation, I find most people have little knowledge as to how mediation actually works. The metaphor of putting together a jigsaw puzzle, an activity most people are familiar with, is very helpful in illustrating the process.
The Mediation Process – Both Structured and Flexible
{3:00 minutes to read} The discussions I lead my couples through in mediation need to be structured, but they also need to be open to “fluid thinking.” By that, I mean the type of thinking that allows for the continued interplay between the various decisions that must be made.
How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?
{4:24 minutes to read} Not infrequently, when someone first calls me to discuss the possibility of divorce mediation, they will mention that they have not yet brought up the subject with their spouse. The caller (the initiating spouse) typically describes a marriage that has not been good for some time; the marriage no longer works for him or her and it needs to come to an end.
Mediation Helps Couples Successfully Untangle Their Lives
{1:42 minutes to read} “Never cut what you can untie.” Joseph Joubert, French essayist This aphorism came to my attention recently when one of my colleagues was giving a presentation at our annual conference for the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation. I was immediately struck by the wisdom contained in its 6 simple words.
How Is Mediation Different From Therapy?
{3:24 minutes to read} Both mediators and therapists play important roles in helping couples who are experiencing difficulties in their marriage. When couples come to me for divorce mediation, I find that at least half of them have spent time, recently or in the past, working together with a therapist to try to save their marriage. I certainly view this as a positive sign. At least the couple has tried to work through the issues in their marriage, even if it didn’t ultimately work out.
Can a Mediator be Omnipartial?
{1:00 minutes to read} I explained in my last article that I would be reposting two earlier blogs on the subject of mediator impartiality, since this topic is of great interest to clients and professionals alike. The second blog was entitled “Can Mediators be Impartial and Address an Imbalance of Power?”
Mediator Impartiality: Is It Possible?
{3:24 minutes to read} Two of the most frequently read articles I’ve posted on my blog have addressed the subject of mediator impartiality or neutrality. While both articles were published nearly three years ago, this subject is as relevant and important today as it was then. And after re-reading these articles, I don’t think I could say it any better now. So, without further ado, here’s a link to the first article entitled “Can a Mediator Really be Neutral or Impartial”?
Why is Mediation Often the Best Choice for Divorcing Couples?
{4:06 minutes to read} There are many reasons for couples to choose to mediate their divorce as opposed to proceeding with a contested/litigated process. Below I discuss the top 9 reasons why divorce mediation is typically the best choice:
1. Expense: Mediation is much less costly than litigation.
What Should You Look For in a Divorce Mediator?
{3:12 minutes to read} There is a combination of important qualities that I believe divorce and family mediators must possess in order to do the best job possible for their clients. I describe these qualities below, as well as some of the ways to ascertain whether your soon-to-be hired mediator possesses them.
