Category Archives: Conflict

Can Conflict Be Good?

Can Conflict Be Good

{3.06 minutes to read}  Many people, when in conflict, see it as something bad and unsettling and, indeed, it can be.  Alternatively, conflict can often be good. How can this be so?

There are 2 sides to conflict – one is productive and the other is unproductive. As to which of these approaches will prevail, that very much depends upon the attitude and approach of the participants.

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Hitting the Pause Button in Divorce Mediation

{3 minutes to read}  Most divorce mediations can be resolved within a matter of months. By ‘resolved’ I mean that, within that timeframe, the couple will have:

  • participated in a number of sessions to discuss their issues,
  • come to an understanding on these issues, and
  • reviewed and executed a legal document (a settlement agreement) that sets out everything they’ve agreed upon.

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My Top 9 Picks for Choosing Divorce Mediation

Divorce and family mediator, Susan Ingram, shares her 9 top reasons she chooses divorce mediation over litigation.

{Time to Read: 3 3/4 minutes}  There are many reasons for a couple to choose to mediate their divorce. Here are My Top 9 Picks (in no particular order):

1. Expense: Mediation is much less costly than litigation. With mediation, the parties are paying just one professional – the mediator – to facilitate the process. In litigation, both parties have to pay the fees of each of their own attorneys as well as many additional fees and costs that are directly related to the litigation process.

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Welcoming 2015 with a 10-Year Look-Back

Family and divorce mediator, Susan Ingram, reflects on her professional journey of the last 10 years as the new year approaches.

{Time to Read: 3.1 mins}  Typically, at the end of each December, before the entrance of the New Year, I like to look back at what’s happened over the past year and then contemplate what I’d like to accomplish in the year that is coming. This year I decided to do my review a little differently. Instead of just looking at the timeframe of a year, I wanted to see the big-picture over the period of the past 10 years.

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Divorcing Couples and Parenting Plans

Divorce and family mediator, Susan Ingram, discusses divorcing parents and parenting plans.

For couples who have children and are divorcing, there’s no more important subject to discuss than their parenting arrangements post-divorce.

As we are working in mediation, my couples sometimes ask if there is a best parenting plan that couples should adopt and follow. The short answer to that question is, no. The slightly longer answer is – no, because so much depends on the unique circumstances and needs of your specific family and its members.

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The “Good Enough” Settlement Agreement

Divorce and Family Mediator, Susan Ingram, discusses settlement agreements.

Exactly what do I mean by a “good-enough” settlement agreement? Although it’s an amusing and somewhat awkward phrase, in the context of family mediation, it has some very positive attributes.

Actually, it’s easier to first describe the opposite of the good-enough agreement. That would be the more-than-enough or have-it-all agreement. To simplify my discussion in this blog, though, let’s just call this other option the “perfect” agreement.

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One-Up, One-Down: Power Imbalances in Mediation

One-Up, One-Down: Power Imbalances in Mediation By Susan Ingram

I recently participated in a discussion with a number of colleagues who are therapists working with couples and their families. We had all just witnessed a divorce mediation session where a couple was discussing the parenting arrangements for their two children, both under the age of ten.

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What’s the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy?

What's the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy? by Susan Ingram

Please take a look at the video below, The Power of Empathy, which was produced by RSA Shorts. In just three short minutes, it explains the power of empathy in an extremely creative and humorous way. Enjoy viewing it – and then  continue on with my article, as I share with you some of my own thoughts on this subject.

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“AND” – One Little Word that Can Make a Big Difference

Worried couple talking about their expenses

I’m going to share with you a simple tip that can significantly change the focus of your conversations and make them more productive. It has to do with the word “and.” By consciously choosing when and how you include “and” in your conversations, you can go from frustrating exchanges that don’t get anywhere to discussions that explore options and come up with viable solutions.

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