Category Archives: Conflict

Whatever Happened to Civility?

Whatever Happened to Civility? by Susan Ingram

{3:06 minutes to read}     I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Civility, especially with everything that’s been going on in the U.S. political arena and the stark difference between the two presidential candidates. I suspect that young people today may not even recognize the word or know what being “civil” actually means. It has fallen out of use in today’s world.

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Divorce Mediation and the Communication Trap

Divorce Mediation and the Communication Trap By Susan Ingram

{3:06 minutes to read}  Earlier this year, one of my mediation couples was in the middle of a discussion as to how they were going to divide their financial assets. They had agreed to divide their bank and investment accounts equally and each retain their own retirement accounts. They then turned to the subject of the annual bonus the husband was scheduled to receive from his employer at the end of December.

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Back to Basics: Divorce Mediation

Back to Basics: Divorce Mediation by Susan Ingram

{4:12 minutes to read}   What’s so special about divorce mediation? Plenty! Check out these Questions and Answers and you’ll understand why mediation may be the best choice for a divorcing couple.

What is divorce mediation?

It is a voluntary settlement process used by couples who want to separate or divorce.

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Divorce Mediation and the Pigeonhole Effect

Divorce Mediation and the Pigeonhole Effect

{2:36 minutes to read}  Often people, especially divorce litigators, have a tendency to “pigeonhole” divorce mediation as being only effective in limited situations. For example, I recently attended a panel discussion presented by the Family and Divorce Mediation Council, an organization of divorce mediators in the greater New York area, to which I belong. The subject was the Anatomy of a Divorce Litigation. The panel consisted of 3 individuals—a judge, a court attorney referee, and an attorney whose practice focuses solely on contested divorces (that is, those that are litigated).

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Common Bonds Between Mediation and Hostage Negotiation

Common Bonds Between Mediation and Hostage Negotiation By Susan Ingram

{2:43 minutes to read}  I recently attended a symposium in New York City that was presented by the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation. The first presenter, Lt. Jack Cambria, retired from the NYPD after 33 years of service. His final and most important position was that of chief hostage negotiator for NYPD’s elite hostage negotiation team.

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Thoughts on Thanksgiving and Gratitude

Thoughts on Thanksgiving and Gratitude By Susan Ingram

{4:36 minutes to read}  Here I am sitting at my computer on the night before the Thanksgiving holiday trying to pull together my divergent thoughts and find the appropriate words to write this blog on the subject of Gratitude. I’m finding this task especially challenging this year, given the events over the past two weeks beginning with the terror attacks in Paris. Everything we hear and read in the news seems to underscore the violence, despair and fear that exist throughout the world. On a global scale, it’s hard for me, and I’m sure many others, not to feel overwhelmed by the sheer negativity of these events.

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Can Conflict Be Viewed as an Opportunity?

Can Conflict Be Viewed as an Opportunity? By Susan Ingram

{3:06 minutes to read}  I can just hear my readers muttering under their breath, “Oh no, there she goes again – talking about how wonderful conflict is.” In fact, several months ago I wrote a blog entitled “Can Conflict Be Good?” In that article, I spoke about productive versus unproductive conflict. For productive conflict to occur, typically there needs to be a degree of flexibility and an openness to understanding the needs of the other party(ies).

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Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: Which Approach Is Best for Your Family?

Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: Which Approach Is Best for Your Family? By Susan Ingram

{3:02 minutes to read}  In my last blog, I talked about some of the challenges that separating and divorcing couples face when they are putting together a parenting plan for their children. Now I would like to explore the two basic approaches that parents can take when creating their parenting plans. One is referred to as Cooperative Parenting and the other as Parallel Parenting.

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Divorcing Couples and the Parenting Plan Balancing Act

Divorcing Couples and the Parenting Plan Balancing Act By Susan Ingram

{3:18 minutes to read}  For separating and divorcing parents, often the biggest concern they have is how their children will fare through this difficult process and going forward.

While none of us can look into our crystal ball and predict the future, it is clear from research that the #1 factor that causes harm to the children of divorcing couples is the amount of conflict between their parents. The more intense the conflict, the greater the likelihood of harm to the children.

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Why Isn’t Divorce Mediation More Popular?

Why Isn’t Divorce Mediation More Popular?

{3:54 minutes to read}  I believe that divorce mediation should be the first choice for the majority of couples who are separating or divorcing. So then, why isn’t the divorce mediation process used more frequently by couples?

I’ve been pondering this question for a number of years now. My role as chair of the Public Awareness Committee of our statewide NY State Council on Divorce Mediation has helped inform me on this subject, as our organization has tried to bridge the knowledge gap for divorcing couples.

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