On Seeing Clearly…and New Perspectives
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes,
but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
{3 minutes to read} Over the past two months, I’ve had cataract surgery on both of my eyes. In the United States and other developed countries, this surgery is quite routine and typically related to the aging process. It is performed on patients when the natural lens of the eye starts to thicken and become cloudy, thus preventing them from seeing clearly. The surgeon replaces the faulty lens with a new artificial lens — and voilà — the patient can see clearly again!
Omni-Partiality and Power Imbalances in Mediation
{2:30 minutes to read} For over a decade I’ve had a practice that focuses exclusively on divorce and family mediation. Much of the training when I first started my practice emphasized the importance of the mediator being neutral and impartial.
Teaching Children to Have Healthy Arguments
{2:48 minutes to read}
These increasingly tense political times have ushered in a period of animosity and lack of discourse that is distressing to many people, including those of us who work in the field of conflict resolution. During this past year, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how we can maintain our humanity and civility while we are constantly being battered (from our President on down) with displays of abusive and self-serving conduct.
Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator
{3:48 minutes to read} If you’re choosing mediation for your divorce, in many instances it makes good sense to use a mediator who is also an attorney. An attorney/mediator who specializes in divorce law will be knowledgeable of the divorce statutes and case law, and can (and should) share that information with clients. Then, when the couple is ready to proceed with having their settlement agreement drafted, the attorney can prepare the agreement for them.
Empathy or Sympathy: What’s the Difference?
{2:54 minutes to read} With all the conflict and negativity in the world right now, I feel like a refresher blog on the subject of empathy is in order. I came upon this short video, The Power of Empathy, four years ago. It continues to be as delightful and fresh as when it first appeared. And, it accomplishes its task in only 3 short minutes of viewing time! So I invite you to click on the image below, enjoy the video, and then continue with the rest of my article.
It’s That Time of Year for Getting Engaged or Getting Divorced
{3:06 minutes to read} There are two trends that occur at the end of each year, and into the beginning months of the following year. One has to do with the demise of a marriage, and the other with the commitment to marry. While these are clearly opposite aspects of “coupled” life, they share a common factor that influences the outcome of each.
Chinese Insights on the Art of Listening
{3:24 minutes to read} During the holidays especially, we all seem to be doing more while at the same time finding less time and patience to accomplish what needs to be done. Our interactions and conversations with family, friends and others can end up being strained and less productive than usual. So I thought this was a good opportunity to re-introduce some concepts I’ve written about before on the subject of Active Listening.
How Long Does Mediation Take?
{3:18 minutes to read}
When I first meet with my clients, they often ask me how long the divorce mediation process will take. My answer is: it depends. In reality, it depends on any number of different factors, such as:
- How complex their issues are;
What is the Difference Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting?
{3:12 minutes to read} There are two basic concepts that describe the way in which parents raise their children following a divorce. These approaches are significantly different, and in fact, are at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One approach is referred to as Cooperative Parenting and the other as Parallel Parenting.
What are the Foundational Requirements for Mediation?
{2:48 minutes to read} When you take it down to the bare bones, there are really only two essential elements that must be present in order for a mediation to be viable and ultimately productive: Willingness to Dialogue and Full Disclosure.
Willingness to Dialogue
First, there needs to be a basic willingness to come together and talk to each other.
