How is Mediation Like Solving a Puzzle?
{2:52 minutes to read}
When I’m first meeting with couples in divorce mediation, I find most people have little knowledge as to how mediation actually works. The metaphor of putting together a jigsaw puzzle, an activity most people are familiar with, is very helpful in illustrating the process.
How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?
{4:24 minutes to read} Not infrequently, when someone first calls me to discuss the possibility of divorce mediation, they will mention that they have not yet brought up the subject with their spouse. The caller (the initiating spouse) typically describes a marriage that has not been good for some time; the marriage no longer works for him or her and it needs to come to an end.
Why is Mediation Often the Best Choice for Divorcing Couples?
{4:06 minutes to read} There are many reasons for couples to choose to mediate their divorce as opposed to proceeding with a contested/litigated process. Below I discuss the top 9 reasons why divorce mediation is typically the best choice:
1. Expense: Mediation is much less costly than litigation.
I’m Right — and You’re Wrong!
{2:36 minutes to read}
I just attended a monthly peer group meeting with my mediation colleagues. One of the subjects that came up, and generated a lively discussion, was the need we humans have “to be right.” Which typically means that the other person must be wrong when he or she doesn’t agree with us.
What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
{Read in 1:10 minutes} A mediation colleague of mine, Rachel Alexander, recently posted an excellent blog explaining why mediation is the best process for divorcing couples, especially when each of the parties is at a different stage of wanting, or not wanting, the divorce.
Emotions and the Magic of Mediation
{3:12 minutes to read} In my last blog, I spoke about the 4 elements that come into play when couples are going through a divorce. The elements are:
- The Legal Divorce
- The Financial Divorce
- The Children’s Divorce
- The Emotional Divorce
What are the 4 Elements of Divorce?
{3:30 minutes to read} When most people are going through a divorce they don’t think about the various elements that come into play during this difficult process. They are often overwhelmed with emotions (anger, resentment and sadness, among them) that come up during this extremely difficult time of their lives.
The Importance of Empathy
{3:54 minutes to read}
In my last blog, entitled Whatever Happened to Civility, I discussed some of the basic tenets that hopefully form the framework of our relationships with others. These include:
- Acknowledging others;
- Listening;
- Respecting others;
- Being inclusive;
- Accepting and giving praise; and
- Speaking kindly.
Whatever Happened to Civility?
{3:06 minutes to read} I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Civility, especially with everything that’s been going on in the U.S. political arena and the stark difference between the two presidential candidates. I suspect that young people today may not even recognize the word or know what being “civil” actually means. It has fallen out of use in today’s world.
Divorce Mediation and the Communication Trap
{3:06 minutes to read} Earlier this year, one of my mediation couples was in the middle of a discussion as to how they were going to divide their financial assets. They had agreed to divide their bank and investment accounts equally and each retain their own retirement accounts. They then turned to the subject of the annual bonus the husband was scheduled to receive from his employer at the end of December.
