It’s That Time of Year for Getting Engaged or Getting Divorced
{3:06 minutes to read} There are two trends that occur at the end of each year, and into the beginning months of the following year. One has to do with the demise of a marriage, and the other with the commitment to marry. While these are clearly opposite aspects of “coupled” life, they share a common factor that influences the outcome of each.
Chinese Insights on the Art of Listening
{3:24 minutes to read} During the holidays especially, we all seem to be doing more while at the same time finding less time and patience to accomplish what needs to be done. Our interactions and conversations with family, friends and others can end up being strained and less productive than usual. So I thought this was a good opportunity to re-introduce some concepts I’ve written about before on the subject of Active Listening.
What is the Difference Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting?
{3:12 minutes to read} There are two basic concepts that describe the way in which parents raise their children following a divorce. These approaches are significantly different, and in fact, are at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One approach is referred to as Cooperative Parenting and the other as Parallel Parenting.
What are the Foundational Requirements for Mediation?
{2:48 minutes to read} When you take it down to the bare bones, there are really only two essential elements that must be present in order for a mediation to be viable and ultimately productive: Willingness to Dialogue and Full Disclosure.
Willingness to Dialogue
First, there needs to be a basic willingness to come together and talk to each other.
5 Key Elements of the Mediation Process
{2:48 minutes to read} There are two principal aspects to the role a mediator plays when helping couples going through divorce mediation. One has to do with the process and the other has to do with the substance.
Process relates to the framework and ground rules that are established by the mediator so that the necessary conversations can take place and move along, ultimately to resolution.
6 Basic Tips for Handling Conflict
{3:06 minutes to read} While conflict in our lives is inevitable, how we handle it is ultimately our choice. That’s true whether we’re dealing with conflict in our private lives (with our partner, children, other family members, friends) or in our work lives (with our colleagues or other professionals).
How is Mediation Like Solving a Puzzle?
{2:52 minutes to read} When I’m first meeting with couples in divorce mediation, I find most people have little knowledge as to how mediation actually works. The metaphor of putting together a jigsaw puzzle, an activity most people are familiar with, is very helpful in illustrating the process.
The Mediation Process – Both Structured and Flexible
{3:00 minutes to read} The discussions I lead my couples through in mediation need to be structured, but they also need to be open to “fluid thinking.” By that, I mean the type of thinking that allows for the continued interplay between the various decisions that must be made.
How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?
{4:24 minutes to read} Not infrequently, when someone first calls me to discuss the possibility of divorce mediation, they will mention that they have not yet brought up the subject with their spouse. The caller (the initiating spouse) typically describes a marriage that has not been good for some time; the marriage no longer works for him or her and it needs to come to an end.
Mediation Helps Couples Successfully Untangle Their Lives
{1:42 minutes to read} “Never cut what you can untie.” Joseph Joubert, French essayist This aphorism came to my attention recently when one of my colleagues was giving a presentation at our annual conference for the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation. I was immediately struck by the wisdom contained in its 6 simple words.
