The “good enough” agreement does not meet the criteria of the perfect agreement for either party. It does, however, meet many (but not all) of the needs of each of them – which is a good thing. It’s a living and breathing document that describes the reality of their situation now and into the future, and enables them to move forward, positively and constructively, with their lives.
In prior videos and blogs, I’ve individually discussed the many reasons why mediation is the best process for divorce. In this video, I view mediation from a broader perspective, outlining 5 key advantages for making the decision to mediate your divorce.
Decision-making is an important aspect of divorce mediation. In mediation, your mediator supports and guides you in your discussions as the two of you make all of the decisions related to your divorce. This is preferable to what happens in a litigated divorce, in which the judge and your separate attorneys are the ones who make the decisions.
Though email has become an integral part of life, there are situations where using email is not appropriate. It works fine for many simple exchanges of information, but not for the substantive and more emotionally charged conversations that happen during divorce mediation. This video explains why.
In this video, I share a simple tip that can significantly change the focus of your conversations and make them more productive. It has to do with the word “and.” By consciously choosing when and how you include “and” in your conversations, you can go from frustrating exchanges that don’t get anywhere to discussions that explore options and come up with viable solutions.
The way in which we listen to others in our conversations with them is extremely important. We can choose Active Listening, which will bring us closer to true dialogue and understanding, Or we can choose Internal Listening, which will not further the dialogue or lead to resolution of the differences between people.
Raising a child with a significant disability is challenging enough when parents have an intact marriage. The challenges increase exponentially when the parents are divorcing. Not only do they need to ascertain their child’s current needs and the resulting financial implications, but they also need to do so into the future, when they are not together and may not be as cooperative in addressing the challenges.
When couples with normal-developing kids are separating or divorcing, we can spend quite a bit of time during mediation discussing their parenting arrangements. When the couple has a special needs child, the whole landscape changes. The discussions about parenting need to be much more detailed so as to flesh out the realities of their situation.
When I’m mediating with parents who have a special needs child, I view myself as being on a “fact-finding mission.” What do I mean by that? In addition to performing my other mediator responsibilities, my role is to gather as much information as I can about the couple’s special needs child, and how that child’s disability relates to the parents, as well as to other siblings in the family.