Power Imbalances in Divorce Mediation
{2:30 minutes to read} One of the basic requirements of divorce mediation is that the mediator be neutral and impartial. Certainly, this means that the mediator should not be taking sides or favoring either party. But it also means that the mediator may need to be more directive at times to ensure the integrity of the parties’ decision-making.
Why Are Budgets Necessary in Divorce Mediation?
{3 minutes to read} Budget preparation, ugh! I know… even in the best of times, this is not exactly an enjoyable task that people look forward to. Yet, it’s something that is absolutely imperative when a couple is separating or divorcing.
When I first meet with couples, I review the main topics that we will be discussing during the mediation process.
On Seeing Clearly…and New Perspectives
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes,
but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
{3 minutes to read} Over the past two months, I’ve had cataract surgery on both of my eyes. In the United States and other developed countries, this surgery is quite routine and typically related to the aging process. It is performed on patients when the natural lens of the eye starts to thicken and become cloudy, thus preventing them from seeing clearly. The surgeon replaces the faulty lens with a new artificial lens — and voilà — the patient can see clearly again!
Omni-Partiality and Power Imbalances in Mediation
{2:30 minutes to read} For over a decade I’ve had a practice that focuses exclusively on divorce and family mediation. Much of the training when I first started my practice emphasized the importance of the mediator being neutral and impartial.
The “What-If?” Scenarios
{4 minutes to read} One of the most important functions I can perform for my divorcing clients is to help them work through the various “What If?” scenarios as they make their decisions in mediation. A “What If?” scenario is an exploration of various possible outcomes to a question that has been raised in regard to an important issue. Exploring the options will facilitate reaching the best decision for a couple.
Divorcing Parents and College Costs
{3:30 minutes to read} One of the most challenging issues for parents who have college-age children is how to handle the costs of their college education. This is a subject that has become more complicated in recent years as the cost of a college education continues to rise significantly. Estimated costs for yearly tuition and room and board for a state-run school are $20,000. Those same costs at a private college are typically anywhere from $45,000 to $80,000 or more.
Life Lessons from a Knee Operation – Part 2
{4 minutes to read}
…Knee bone connected to the thigh bone
Thigh bone connected to the hip bone
Hip bone connected to the back bone
Back bone connected to the shoulder bone
Shoulder bone connected to the neck bone
Neck bone connected to the head bone
Now hear the word of the Lord…
Life Lessons from a Knee Operation – Part 1
{5 minutes to read}
My body has been teaching me a very powerful lesson that I am still in the process of deciphering. Although my thoughts are still percolating, I’d like to share my initial challenges and insights with you, my readers.
This part of my journey started about 4 months ago when I had an operation to have total knee replacement on both of my knees.
Teaching Children to Have Healthy Arguments
{2:48 minutes to read}
These increasingly tense political times have ushered in a period of animosity and lack of discourse that is distressing to many people, including those of us who work in the field of conflict resolution. During this past year, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how we can maintain our humanity and civility while we are constantly being battered (from our President on down) with displays of abusive and self-serving conduct.
Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator
{3:48 minutes to read} If you’re choosing mediation for your divorce, in many instances it makes good sense to use a mediator who is also an attorney. An attorney/mediator who specializes in divorce law will be knowledgeable of the divorce statutes and case law, and can (and should) share that information with clients. Then, when the couple is ready to proceed with having their settlement agreement drafted, the attorney can prepare the agreement for them.
